Initial Consult

Monday I met with my surgeon! Doctors, appointments and hospitals give me mega anxiety so normally I end up cancelling.  While I was definitely anxious for this appointment my excitement trumped it. That’s correct, I was actually excited to go to an appointment. My biggest concern was that the surgeon I chose would be mean or arrogant. Or that he would turn me away for surgery for some reason.

My appointment was scheduled for 1130am. I walked into Dr. Minkin’s office and had all the paperwork finished by 1015am. Expecting to be waiting for a for a good while I settled into one of the waiting room chairs. I hadn’t even had a chance to open Words With Friends when my name was called.

The nurse took me back, weighed me, took my blood pressure and got my height. Then showed me into a room where I was to wait for Dr. Minkin. Again, I was prepared to settle in and wait for a while. But again I was surprised when only a few minutes had passed and Dr. Minkin walked in.

I was immediately put at ease by his calm, cool demeanor. He was very articulate and professional but made sure to explain everything thoroughly. He made sure to answer my questions and never made me feel rushed.

The consultation was fairly painless. The surgeon asked me asked me a few questions, reviewed my paperwork. He had me lift up my shirt so he could check my stomach for hernias. And…that’s about it.

I was given some forms that are required by my insurance for monthly check ups with my General Doctor. They also gave me a form with required exams on it and a number to call to set up the appointments.

I paid a $75 fee required for all first time bariatric patients and that was it…Home bound. A lot less traumatizing than anticipated.

My VSG Journey is beginning!

I finally have the ball rolling on my VSG Journey!!!

For those of you who do not know what VSG is it stands for Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy. It is a type of weight loss surgery where they remove a large portion of your stomach. You are left with a smaller stomach, about the size of a banana. Which ultimately limits the amount of food you can eat at one time and making you feel full.

I have struggled with my weight my ENTIRE life, I’ve never not been big. I kept telling myself I’d lose the weight but here I am almost 25 and haven’t lost anything.

I’m not ready, emotionally or mentally to start talking numbers. Once I’m further into the process I may be more willing to reveal my weight and pant size and such.

Monday, February the 20th I have my first consultation with my surgeon. I am excited beyond words, but also nervous because I know that he could still turn me down for the surgery. I can’t even let myself think of that possibility now.

Weight loss surgery was not something I ever even thought about before, I never saw it as an option. I always associated it with the TLC “My 600 lb life” and assumed you had to be to that point in order to consider it. It wasn’t until a You tuber that I follow put out a video saying she had had VSG Surgery that I got to thinking about it. She is younger than I am and was no where near as heavy as me.

I started looking into it and reading blogs/watching Youtube vidoes on people who’ve had it. And without me knowing anything about it, my uncle had it done. Seeing how successful he has been with it and all that he is able to do now has pretty well set my mind.

This has already been a stressful, scary and nerve wracking journey. Please pray for me/think happy thoughts for me, especially Monday when I meet with my surgeon. I’ve never been so certain or determined to do something in my life.

 

Let’s Get It Started.

I’ve been trying to start blogging for years, and never thought anything I had to say was worth reading. And I’ll be honest it probably still isn’t but damn it I’m going to say it anyway!

I’ll be straight with you if I can actually stick with it and keep making posts it’s probably going to be pretty rough for a while…possibly forever.

I have the hardest time verbalizing my thoughts, the struggle is real…

Image result for messy mind

hmmm….add this to my list of self diagnosis’s 

So if you can manage to stick around then we should be friends, because you’re probably just as dysfunctional as I am, and that’s fantastic!

Image result for let's be friends

As far as my intentions for this blog, I really don’t have any. It’s more or less going to be a modpodge of anything and everything. Sort of a big ole mess…not unlike my mind and my life.

 

Doing the “deed”

Here goes nothing…or at least I’m going to try… I’ve decided that therapy is too expensive and I need some way to vent. So if you’re reading this then “winner winner chicken dinner” and also I apologize in advance for the absolute B.S. that is about to unfold.

I’ve decided to share my pathetic, depressing and absolutely ridiculous experiences with the opposite sex…

Before we dive into this horse shit, I should probably tell you a bit about myself. Or at least what I feel may be relevant to the story.

Growing up I was not necessarily a “goody two shoes” but I did sort of plan on not having sex until I was married or at least until I was in a “legit” relationship.  And comparing to most people I’d say I did pretty well on holding out.

So let’s go to that night, where everything just went straight to hell. It was ironically…and awfully…enough, Valentine’s day of 2014 I was a month away from turning 22.

That day my parents told us they needed to talk to us kids and called the 4 of us together to meet. Long story short my step mother told us she wanted a divorce…After 19 years of marriage… I’m not going to even go into this story, it’s a whole mess in and of itself.

Anyway, it sort of threw me for a loop. I was mad and confused and didn’t really know how to process it.

At the time I worked at a hotel and my friend was working the front desk so I went and just hung out with her.

Now for the past few months there had been almost 30 welders staying at the hotel. And my friend is crazy, and flirty and just a hot mess. So she talked me into going out to the bar with a bunch of the welders that night.

There was one guy that I had been talking to in particular from among st them. He was older and actually acknowledged me.

So we went out and well you know how it goes, I got absolutely shit faced and well one thing led to another and I ended up having my first kiss and losing my “V” all on the same night….lame.

Image result for but wait there's more

About a month or so later all the welders moved to a different city a few hours away, and the guy I had been with went back to Texas where he was from…..to his wife…. No I did not know that he was married….and yes I felt like a piece of shit homewrecker…. what compounded the shittyness was the fact that just before he left I caught my step mother screwing a guy in my apartment….mind you, both she and her man whore were BOTH STILL MARRIED… So the fact that I had slept with a married man, even unknowingly, made me feel like the scum of the earth….

Fantastic….