- Super Introverted
- Collect Books
- Have 3 siblings, two brothers, one sister
- Mom passed away of brain cancer just after my second birthday.
- Obsessed with watching documentaries
- Favorite books to read are historical fiction
- Extremely interested in British History.
- Favorite book to movie adaptation is “American Sniper” with Bradley Cooper playing as Chris Kyle a Navy Seal who was killed by a former Marine who he was trying to help work through his PTSD.
- I have a freckle on my eye…or what is called “Chorodial nevus”
- Favorite scents; Lilac, Hyacinth and anything “fall” scented
- When I was a child I wanted to be… a chef, veterinarian or an Archaeologist
- Favorite TV show- Downton Abbey
- Biggest Fear- Spiders and never finding someone to spend my life with.
- Never done drugs…Never will
- Frequently have nightmares with Tornadoes and Sharks.
- I have 2 dog
- Aurora- Female Red Merle Australian Shepherd
- Aspen- Male Chorkie (Chihuahua and Yorkie Mix)
- Foods I do not like…. Mint flavored anything, Chocolate, Bacon…sorry 99.9% of the population
- Do not like shopping… at all.
- Never carry a purse
- Don’t drink soda but I do like Iced Sweet Tea on occasion
- Biggest Pet peeves; Interrupting people, “One-Uppers,” nose & mouth noises (sniffling, slurping, lip smacking, etc)
- Very socially awkward…
- Profession: 911 Dispatcher
- 90’s Country is my favorite music to listen to
- I hate #hashtags…I don’t use Twitter for that reason
- Watching the news gives me serious rage issues
- I’d choose the mountains over the beach any day
- Hate crowds
- Christmas is my favorite holiday
- I’m a hopeless romantic yet I have no clue how to work a relationship.
- I have MASSIVE trust issues
- Bear- apparently due to my “attitude”
- Mer-Mer- because my nephew couldn’t say Amber
- Amberger- My dad has always called me this, no idea why
- I’m OBSESSED with traveling
- Current vehicle- 96 GMC Sierra
- I’d love to learn how to play the piano
- Want to learn a second language. Studied Spanish in high school but couldn’t get into it.
- I actually like to drink water, it’s basically all I drink.
- I HATE how “weddings” have become more of a priority than the marriage itself.
- I used to use Sims to create my “ideal life”
- Blood type is O+
- Hate reality shows…
- Would love to one day own and run my own Bed and Breakfast or Inn
- I cry when I am really frustrated or passionate about something…drives me batshit crazy.
- LOVE Thunderstorms
- When watching TV I have to be doing something with my hands. It’s usually scrolling through Pinterest on my phone.
- Notorious for not responding to texts, or typing a response and not sending it.
- I believe everyone needs to work in retail and food service so they know how they should treat people.
- I sing along to the radio when I drive
- Prefer to have the windows down than the AC on. House or Truck. Ironic since my first 3 cars didn’t have working AC.
- Autumn is my favorite season.
Oh how I just love talking about my non existent love life…. Well here goes let’s talk about relationships… of which I have none. At 25 years of age I can honestly say I’ve never been in a “real relationship.”
At the moment I’m talking to a guy, who I’ve been talking to on and off for about 6 years. As much as I hate when people say “it’s complicated…” well… it’s complicated…
I care a good deal for him. While things between us are better than they’ve ever been, he always seems to find a way to make me walk away. I wish I could say that the problems have been resolved…improved slightly… but not resolved. What can I say maybe I’m delusional…Maybe I want for it to work so badly that I keep making excuses and forgiving too easily.
We are a lot alike he and I. Which is why it’s understandable that I get so frustrated with him. We are both guarded, with reinforced walls keeping people from getting too close…seeing too much. The difference being I’m ready for commitment, I don’t want games, I want to find someone to make a life with.
I think commitment scares him…hell it scares me too.
He recently told me he didn’t want to be in a relationship because he didn’t want me to have to deal with him when he’s “broken.” Referring to certain issues he is dealing with in his life. If that statement is true then it’s incredibly sweet…but also frustrating. There will always be something in our lives we are dealing with, something that could be used as an excuse.
Now I’ve known him a while and I know he is dealing with a few things…but so am I…so is everyone…
I can see that he knows he needs to make changes but there’s something holding him back. Fear of leaving a job to find one he’s passionate about. Fear of disappointing people. He’s trying to pay off a debt which he uses as a reason for putting off going back to school.
He won’t say it but he definitely struggles with low self-esteem and I believe depression. He often tells me he’s a horrible person and argues when I tell him otherwise. He can’t forgive himself for mistakes he’s made and he’s too harsh on himself.
I can only hope that I can help him overcome his demons. After six years of getting to know him and forming an attachment I can’t imagine just calling it quits. But if something doesn’t give I’m afraid I will have to move on. I sincerely hope that doesn’t have to happen.
So there you have it…I know that if this was someone else’s story I would be internally screaming at her to move on with her life…I’d tell her if he’s not fighting to keep you then it’s time to find someone who will.